Finding my path: Yoga and beyond

A delayed post from Summer '20

Back in November '19 I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. The only thing I knew back then was that I needed a change, a big change as I was not quite content.  Towards the end of my time at the Red Cross when I attended the annual Fundraising Conference I realised there were big and impactful things that were happening within the organisation which made me happy for those who were involved and especially for the beneficiaries, but it didn't feel like I contributed to it that much unlike the year before when I felt I was part of something bigger than I could imagine.

As I set off for my travels I had a very clear intention which was to find my path. I always intended this trip to be more than a sightseeing, fun-loaded adventure, leaving my life in London behind in search for something I didn't quite picture at the time. That's why each time I prayed in the way I do, at each ceremony and gathering I attended, at each fire I sat by I asked the universe to guide me with the deepest intention in my heart. I remember very clearly on the last full moon of the year a young shaman gave me a seed from Mexico and asked me to offer it to the fire with an intention. And I said "Please show me my path."

Little did I know then that the island of Ometepe would be the place that I'd find my path. It happened quite casually when Virgi, a wonderful woman that I met at the jungle hostel El Zopilote, turned around while showing me the facilities and asked "Can you teach yoga?" And that was it. 

After a couple of weeks, I found myself at the most peaceful serene yoga studio, about to teach my first class. I’m usually nervous and shaky when I’m standing in front of an expectant crowd who are looking at me to teach or present for the first time. But this time I felt calm and relaxed, with no pressure at all. It surprised even me, but slowly it began to dawn on me. I’m not relying on my mind, or my words, my clothes or my voice in the way that I do when I present something. I was relying on my body and my muscles were my memory. They already knew everything I was about to teach, so my body lead this dance and the words just followed. I felt like an actor who knew all their words.

Virgi, when she came to my class, said "You are born to do this". Perhaps an exaggeration to encourage me but I felt similarly. It was magic. It was delight. It was fun. It didn't feel like a duty. So that was it. I dedicated all of me; time, energy and heart to yoga the whole time I stayed in Nicaragua. I was teaching 6 days a week and simultaneously training with Carlos one on one and attending his yoga classes to observe and assist. The rest of my time was  spent learning the Sanskrit names of the asanas and yoga sutras. I missed many outings and late night fun. I didn't even climb the volcanoes on the island as I was always busy with one thing: my yoga. I loved it though. I was so fulfilled doing what I love and more importantly the thing I believed in, in the middle of the jungle among trees and monkeys! 

Here I am now, doing what I love and finding so much contentment in it. The anxiety is creeping in though, as my time on the farm is coming to an end and my plans for the fall are falling apart because of COVID. There's now the pressure to make a living in the UK while trying to get this new love of mine off the grounds. Family and friends have been extremely supportive showing up at my classes and sharing it with others but the most common sentence I hear is that "There are too many yoga teachers, you know". I know and they are right. But should I give up then? Shall I not even try as the reality is there are many teachers around? Or shall I try to find my niche?  How do I find my niche? I have so many  exciting plans and crazy dreams which aren't only limited to one aspect of yoga.  I know for sure I have to give this a go and see what I can do with it. I have to admit it isn't easy to do everything on my own to get this business off the grounds.  There's a great need for a companionship and partnership to co-create. I'm full of enthusiasm and bursting with ideas but I also accept my limitations. It's a dance that I'm performing on my own at this moment but I feel the eagerness of the audience and hear the tapping and the clapping which will soon be followed by participation. Why not!

.

 Please note photos are from various parts of my journey around the world.

.

Also feel free to leave a comment about the post, recommendations or share your own experiences and stories. I'd love to hear from you.