Celebration of Togetherness

"He smelled like home. He looked like home. He sounded like home. He was where I wanted to be after a long day and with my morning coffee. He was walks through the park and car rides to nowhere. I saw forever in the gleam of his smile."

It's been 8 years since I called this place home and 9 wonderful years together. This was the first and only place that truly felt like home in my adult life, and over the years it felt even more home to me than the one I grew up in Turkey. We made a little family just you and me, nurtured and nourished each other as we grew together. There's been so much love, laughter, exploration and care that made me feel so blessed each day as I woke up next to you. 

I know this is pretty unusual. Weddings, engagements, etc. are the ones we celebrate loud but we hardly ever talk about break-ups openly. I'm happily breaking that convention as my heart is full of gratitude for all that time together with a man I still trust with my eyes closed. As everyone knows by now we've always been opposite of conventional anyway! You loved me like no one else when I couldn't even love myself and believed in me no matter what. We were always in it together whether it was a driving test that I kept failing at or another fundraising event or my monthly period dramas.

I'm so proud of us that we've been able to support each other through this painful process. It's been bloody hard, there's no denial. For me relationships have never been about the destination but the journey itself, and this has been heaven of a journey. After all those failed relationships in the past and a ghost father there was only one thing I wanted my future partner to be "a good person" and the universe sent me the man with the kindest heart. I've always been humbled by your compassion and generosity not only towards me but everyone else around you. You spoilt me rotten and went into great extent to surprise me in many occasions. 

There wasn't much to sort out logistically but somehow the photos became a big deal for me. Hence every other phone call I asked if you took down the photos. You said no. I was worried to find the walls empty when I came home. I knew we needed a ceremony to honour all those magical moments and I'm glad you agreed. So we made a playlist, poured a glass of bubbly and took down the photos one by one going between tears and laughter. I'm so proud of us as we are both determined to find a new way of relating and formulate a healthy relationship as we go on our own paths.

Thank you so much for coming into my life and helping me grow to be the woman I am now. I always knew how much I loved you and how deeply you loved me but this moment in life has shown me that this is purely unconditional love, and we're so lucky to experience such a profound connection and be each other's chosen family. 

 

I will always love you M. This is not the end but the beginning of another chapter, still together!