Today starts now

I'm gonna cry. I'm feeling incredibly happy. I love life so much at this very moment that I can't even believe myself. I'm listening to "Today starts now" by Mari Boine and feeling excited about the future. It's beautiful.

It's just an ordinary morning. Nothing's happened. I woke up early to a cold and crispy London morning and went for a run in the mist to the man made oasis in the middle of concrete, the illusionary woods. I saluted my glorious friends and gave them a hug. I had so much energy, kept running. I ran to the middle of the park to the open space. It felt like freedom. Space. freedom. space. free. I stood on the wet, brown platform by the pond. The Gael started to play. The song itself is so exhilarating but the memories and the emotions it brings is overwhelming. I was once again full of joy. I stood there as grounded as a tree. A beautiful tree that breathes in and out life. And I danced. You know the feeling when you hear a tune and your body moves instinctively. It was that sort. I inhaled life in and exhaled it out. With every inhalation, each part of me revived one by one.

There was a time when I was never enough for myself. I disliked "me" and wanted to stay away from my own self. For so many years, I waited for someone or something to come and change my life, make magic and transform me. I've been working to become a better version of me but kept failing and failing until that very perfect moment when I gave up on becoming  and decided simply to be  and I was happy! I'm no saint and i will continue failing but experiencing such moments is certainly liberating. It isn't easy to surrender but when you do it's pure magic.

Recently, I've been better company for myself though and found a room within me which gives me comfort and strength. I can't stop thinking maybe this is it. Maybe I've found my wolf. Maybe it's been in me all along. It felt like a reunion.