2018

What a year! Full of magic, connection and exploration. The start of a journey to myself and the world in a deeper sense. An awakening, both spiritually and emotionally. Making peace with my deeds and meeting the wild side. I don't remember another time when I felt so raw and wild and free, and dealt with emotions which I was foreign to. So much openness on many different levels. I feel like I've been able to open my heart and mind, and found my voice during an unusual meditation practice. I had such profound experiences and lived those moments fully. I could feel the energy running throughout my veins and my heart filled with joy.

I witnessed some ordinary (!) miracles. I watched two people making fire through friction at Equinox Solstice in such harmony and with great perseverance. They said never focus on the outcome but the process. It's all about the harmony and the rhythm. It took long, so long that we almost accepted it might not happen. We were then caught by fascination by the power of a tiny ember, how it grew with some air and how the flames started to form when it met with the wood. The magnificent beauty and warmth of the fire. The symbol of passion. I stood there in awe and kept thinking of this tiny ember. It's all it takes!

I made some very special connections with nature, with people, with spirits, with my loved ones. I met a crazy old man who waters stones and speaks with much wisdom, and I'm so happy he's become a friend of mine.  I've found a community. A home. A family. Embercombe which definitely deserves its own post!

I slept under the stars, surfed on the waves and hugged lots of trees. Life wasn't always milk and honey though. I also got hit by a frozen brussels sprout in the eye and ended up at the A&E. What are the chances, right?

I listened to some damn good music. Saw Nick Cave, Patti Smith and The Pixies live. Became obsessed with Okkerville River and Benjamin Lazar Davies. Carried away with the Gael and Gula Gula.

It's also the 10 year anniversary of my migration to England which was one of the biggest milestones in my life and I believe 2018's been the other one. When I look back, I see a massive shift in my life in many perspectives. Throughout my twenties, I tried to be like someone else or be someone else but in my early thirties all I want is to be able to myself, let my wild and fragile parts exposed bravely. Although I'm struggling with the concept of "getting older", there's never been a time that I felt this hopeful and excited about life before within myself (here i'm sparing the catastrophes of climate change and terrible world politics)

In terms of my work life, it's been a really challenging but rewarding year. I've developed so much professionally and learnt hell a lot about GDPR! On a day to day life, it's easy to forget the ultimate purpose of your role at a charity but it really helps to remember that we're part of a wider movement. Thus at our annual fundraising conference, I felt so motivated and moved by the stories from the field. It was also a pretty awesome  surprise to come back home with an award that we won as a team! 

Today I've taken a day off from the outside world and spent it reflecting on my experiences this year. I'm aware it has been jumping from one place to another but it's almost a note to self. 

Happy new year!