A belated birthday reflection

"Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." Rilke 

⚡ 38 - I will always remember you. It was a massive year, both professionally and emotionally, marked by significant growth. I delved deep into the core of what I'd like to offer to the world and how I want to live my life. I took many risks and found my edges. It was exhilarating and sometimes scary. I experienced failure, not because I didn't perform well, but because I didn't show up. Nevertheless, that failure metamorphosed into an epic success. In the aftermath of hours lying in bed frozen, I resolved to never let fear creep in and define me again this way. The next time, I overcame my fright and insecurities, and showed up boldly and passionately. ⚡ I truly learnt what it means to hold space, allowing things to emerge without overplanning and embracing spontaneity. ⚡I learnt how to be in a ceremony and stay centered even when the whole house started to tremble. ⚡I was fortunate enough to witness people open up, blossom, and connect with this wild and precious life. 

⚡38 - I will always remember you. My heart lies in what I do, so there's been significant heart growth thanks to my work. However, I also experienced heart growth through heartache— deep and painful. There were nights when I wrapped myself in my fragility and longing after days of exuberance and connection. I lost myself on this rollercoaster ride. In the darkest of nights, I wondered what the gift would be, as I learnt there always was one. In the end, there was grief and relief, anger and freedom, disappointment and gratitude.

Gradually, as I committed to the decision to move forward, the heaviness began to lift. Light pierced through the darkness, and the birds returned home once more. Amidst this transition, a gift was unveiled. I lost a part of myself, only to discover more of myself. Of course, the process continues but, ahh, it's good to sing again! 

Next time, when I fall into pieces, I will remember that the path will always take me back home again as long as I don't let go of my own hand.