States of flux

Monsoon has arrived. The change of season has also brought some changes to our simple live here. First two quarantined birds have just left our nest to get their home. There haven’t been dramatic rains yet, however the days are more overcast and the sun hides behind heavy clouds. As we depend on solar power here our limited wifi is now even more limited which makes it hard to sort anything out online. No banking online, no checking flights, etc. There are now more flies, bugs and insects around which encourage a change in our fashion as well; long leggings and long sleeves are in, even though it’s hotter than the dry season. We were also warned to zip up all our bags if we didn’t want to find an uninvited guest like a snake in them! This was not a joke.

I traditionally get ill during a change of season so I was unwell for a few days. Spending all my time in bed aching, nauseous and weak I could do nothing but daydream of my homecoming. Those were sweet dreams like me walking into the flat; kettle boiling, bath running, Mark smiling.. Last week I had a melt down with Kye and Bruce, when the grounding, hardworking and lovely couple announced they were departing taking all the risks to get back home to the UK. The reality of the situation hit me hard then. I wasn’t only sad because they meant so much to the community but also their existence gave me some sort of stability and reassurance here. Now they've decided to leave I had to face my fears and sit with my emotions. I think I’d been avoiding some of my anxieties which often came to me late at night. This was now to time to welcome them back.

On a day to day basis the life at the LoveGrows farm is still pretty calm and blissful. Our puppies are growing fast (although sadly we lost one), we have 4 tiny kittens and lots of tiny chicks. I’ve moved my tent up up the hill so now I meet the rising sun from my spot (when it appears) and see the stars and the moon when I wake up for a wee at night. Also four of us are starting a permaculture course for 3 weeks run by the owner of the farm, Russ. I'm excited to find more about the land and how everything works.

Although the near future is still uncertain - I don’t even know when I can leave Colombia - I’m clearer about what I want my future to be like and what sort of life I’d like to lead.

I’m also excited that everyday I’m closer to going back home even more. I miss you my dear friends.