Sahara!

Sahara.. Isn't that such a beautiful word to say. Sa-ha-ra. It stuck in my heart since the very first time I watched the Sheltering Sky with its fascinating desert scenes and the melancholic story. 

Now sitting here, I reminisce the melody that our desert friends played. We were all seated in a circle by the fire feeling the heat under our skin whilst having small and precious sips of our limited wine. Our desert friends picked up their bells and drums which had been resting closely to the fire and started playing Berber music which felt like a ritual. The jangling sound of the bells were repetitive and hypnotic and the persistent drums were getting louder and louder while the swirling flames danced. I studied every one of their faces, their postures in their Sahara-blue djellabas and their dark serious looks which were easily softened by a salute from a new member joining in to play or a kind gesture from the audience. These were moments of surreality; being in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of strangers gathered under the sheltering sky listening to the story of the desert at the most unique way possible.

“How fragile we are under the sheltering sky. Behind the sheltering sky is a vast dark universe, and we're just so small.”

― Paul Bowles, The Sheltering Sky

Everything is slow. I lie down under a tree as it is the only place with a bit of a shade. The sunrays crossed over my body in different angles. Although I am sleepless from the night before, I can't fall asleep but I'm in a good place; half awake half dreamy. My Berber friend comes and offers me some pillows. It's not the cushions but his kind gesture and his big smile that make me feel more comfortable. I close my eyes and drift away. Time perhaps has passed but I have no concept of it and this doesn't worry me. It is easy to let go here and just be. I open my eyes slowly and see where the golden sand and the blue sky meet. It's as if I'm inside a painting that I might have seen at an art gallery and fallen in love with. Is this a dream? My life in that moment is perfect. I am in awe. 

My desert friend brings over some berber tea. His hair as messy as a bird's nest, his legs as skinny as pins. Everytime I say thank you, he says "Merhaba" which makes me giggle a little bit - the Arabic word for welcome means hello in Turkish. 

It was a long journey to the desert. By the time we made it there, the sun had already set. There was a smear of sadness on the moment as I climbed onto the camel. After a long day passing by different towns, streets and faces, we were finally at the edge of the desert. I held on to the saddle so tight that my fingers hurt after a while and I could already feel the pressure on my thighs. It got dark pretty quickly and it was dead silent. The whole world was still except for the four camels swaying indeed like  ships of the desert as they walked. I could feel each movement and hear my own breathing. I listened to it and listened to my heart beating. It was so meditative that my mind and body became whole. I looked around and saw a shooting star. There I was crossing across the Sahara under the Milky Way and the millions of stars. This was one of the most glorious moments of life. Watching the jewelled sky with sober eyes makes you strangely drunk. 

We climbed up the dunes. I was breathless. Felt the warmth and at the same time the coolness of the sand with my bare feet. The unique freeing sensation. The hint of dust. Dry air. The breeze stroking my skin. My heart was beating fast. The marvel of what I was seeing made me speechless. My inner self whispered a line from a Rumi poem:

"The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you

Don't go back to sleep"

...

The next morning we set up before the sunrise. Again with a slow and steady pace. I saw a few silhouettes climbing up the dunes. I was feeling incomplete. I would have loved simply to sit and wait it to rise. I had the urge to have more time on this vast, humbling landscape. This place had been in thoughts for such a long time that this brief encounter wasn't suffice. The universe has many ways. Sometimes it takes away the things you love the most but other times it makes your wish come true. I won't get into the "how" part but after arriving where we started, we returned back to the desert to spend one more night. There we were again to experience one more day in the serenity of the Sahara.